Dream On

astrology6.gif Here I go again with my broken promise. Ouch, I promised to stop blogging about Rules of Life but can’t seem to resist from doing it as I was inspired by blogger-friend Kathy’s post entitled “What Is Your Dream ?” Perhaps blogging about a rule every 6 months wouldn’t be a bad idea eh ?

Rule 18 – Don’t Be Afraid To Dream

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This may seem incredibly obvious, incredibly easy but you would be surprised how many people seriously limit their dreams. They’re your dreams for heavens sake. There should be no limit to them. Plans have to be realistic, dreams don’t.

I worked in the casino business for many years and was always intrigued that “punters” (what we really call customers) could ever see it, that they would always lose because they wouldn’t limit their losses but would always limit their winnings. Don’t ask me why. I guess addicted gamblers are seriously not well. They’d go with the right attitude – ” I’ll just lose this fiver and pack it in”. Result : They’d lose the fiver and cash another check to chase it. Then chase another lost cheque, and another.

I’m not advocating gambling by the way – not now, not ever, it’s really not a good idea, believe me. The point is people limit their dreams the way they limit their winnings. And yet dreams are at worst harmless. Don’t limit them! You are allowed to dreams as high, as wide, as big, as extravagant, as impossible, as wacky, as silly, as bizarre, as unrealistically nonsensical as you want.

You are allowed to wish for anything you want as well. Look, wishes and dreams are all private affairs. There are no wish police, no dream doctors who are on the rampage looking out for unrealistic demands. It is a private thing between you and… that’s it. Between you and absolutely no one else at all.

The only note of caution here – and I do speak from personal experience – is be very careful of what you wish for, what you dream of, it might just come true. And where would you be then?

A lot of people think their dreams have to be realistic to be worth dreaming about. But that’s a plan and that is something quite different. I have plans and I take logical steps to make them come to fruition. Dreams are allowed to be so improbable so they are never likely to come. And don’t go thinking you’ll never achieve anything by sitting around day dreaming all day. Some of the most successful people have also been those who dared to dream the most. It isn’t a coincidence.

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All of us certainly dream about what we want to be and what we want to do in life. Some of us are passionate and would kill to attain their dreams while others are content with dreaming, never really caring whether they would come true or not. Suffice to say our dreams change as we age and as our situation in life changes. Mine when I was in my teens are certainly different than my dreams now when some of them may have been realized.

Our dreams when we were single as opposed to married might be quite different, when we now factor in our loved ones into the equation. Sometimes we suppress our personal dreams in favor of having our loved ones realize theirs first. Some forego with marriage and persist in their quest to attain their dream. Some leave their marriage so they can pursue and attain their elusive dream without distraction. Different stroke for different folks when it comes to how we pursue our dreams.

When I was on technical training last week, my redneck instructor, a ex military man who resides in a village of 10 people 100 kms north of Regina, Saskatchewan, bragged about how thrilled he is with living in a 1 acre property with a mid-sized bungalow, a 500 sq ft guest house and a 3 car garage which he bought for an impossible amount of $85,000. When he opened his laptop on the projector, his desktop wallpaper showed a pretty shot of his valued property which is close to the lake and the woods, perfect for his passion for fishing, hunting, boating and snow-mobiling in winter. With 5 years more to go before retiring and his 4 kids already on their own, he only works 26 weeks in a year travelling all over North America teaching. His wife works as a school bus driver at a nearby town. In his spare time he also works as an $11 per hour part time security guard at rock concerts in the city which he claims is the best job in the world as he gets to see the likes of Pearl Jam, Nirvana, the Bare Naked Ladies for free.

He then said – “ I can certainly work more weeks teaching if I want to. Can I make more money? Yes. Do I want to make more money? No.”

Is this man limiting his dream ? Perhaps not but at his stage in his life he probably already figured out the difference between impossible dream and achievable dream. At his stage in his life, he is likely on the cooling stage, no sense of breaking his back for more , conserving his energy and just contented of what he has. But does he dream about being on the guitar or drums at a Pearl Jam gig ? Very likely.

I have no problem with “un-limiting” my dreams if only to buoy up my spirit but I would also say that when dreaming encourages us to draw a plan, then we are talking of an achievable dream. For those of us who had been through with the trials and tribulations of life and achieved something we could be proud of, we like to think more about achievable dreams don’t we ? I’m sure that other than winning the Lotto, all of us can think of at least three achievable dreams, not necessary spectacular, those within our reach. The irony is these achievable dreams might be lying there for a while and all we need is to move our butts to realize them but we chose not to, content with procrastinating.


30 Responses

  1. Recall the old story of the rather refined young man who preferred sex dreams to visiting brothels because he met a much nicer type of girl that way.
    -Vivian Mercer-

    Dream on.
    Not sure about those dreams… I believe we should try to be happy with our lives. Impossible dreams can only lead to frustrations and unhappiness.

  2. Some of us are passionate and would kill to attain their dreams

    that aint dreaming, that’s murder! (kidding mate, been drinking laff coffee 😛 )

    an ex-co worker of mine said to me once that I ‘dream’ too much, too ambitious…i said there’s nothing wrong for being so..
    what wrong was the co worker was riding on my dreams when they materialized, now who was too ambitious?

    dreaming keeps us going so it’s good, making us reach our life’s goals…as long as we, like u said, move our cute behinds to achieve them. I think it’s a waste of time for some people who only dream. period.

  3. Dreaming big is what made the likes of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and the founders of Yahoo and Google, achieve what very few of us can ever dream of. So really, dream on…. 🙂

  4. I have these three dreams:

    1) to be slimmer 😀
    2) to travel – Europe, most especially!
    3) to author a book.

    Now, should I dream on, BW?

    P.S. sorry about my comment system in my blog. Something’s wrong that I haven’t figured out yet. I got your comments in my inbox though and have read them… Thanks. 🙂

  5. Sometimes I go too far with my dreams, it scares me!

    Did you dream about white Christmas when you were a kid? I bet those who did see them in picture postcards sent by relatives from north America to the Philippines wished and dreamt about playing in the snow in the wintertime….heheheheh..snow is a pain in the b..t, on the arms, legs(arthritic) and driving on ice is fun if you are suicidal!

    “Dream” by the Everly Brothers.

    I am at the “achievable dream” stage of my life….I have enough to invest in a small farm as an income supplement for my retirement compensation, hopefully in a few years time.

  6. “In his spare time he also works as an $11 per hour part time security guard at rock concerts in the city which he claims is the best job in the world as he gets to see the likes of Pearl Jam, Nirvana, the Bare Naked Ladies for free.”

    – I’d do that job for free. =)

  7. Sidney – sometimes dreams can given you reprieve from the harsh realities of life but too much of it can’t get you anywhere in life.

    I guess then you’re not a fan of the famous song Impossible Dream – ” to dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe…. this is my quest to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far ” sounds silly ? hehe 🙂

  8. Thess – you’re right – maybe I’m watching too much mystery thrillers hehe 🙂

    It is fact that ambitious people fulfill their dreams better than those who aren’t. It also follows that ambitious people have the guts to move their butts and take risks and get to where they want to be 🙂

  9. Sngl – these personalities you’re talking about are a rare breed man. They’re exceptional dreamers and visionaries who think way ahead than ordinary folks like us. Sometimes I wonder what motivates these people to push their vision further. Their passion for what they do is never ending.

  10. Rhodora – your three dreams are most definitelty achievable ! You just need to plan and work it out with resolve of course 🙂

    My three simple and achievable dreams in order of difficulty are :

    a. enroll at a golf school in Florida for a week and break 80 a year after
    b. a Subaru WRX STI for myself
    c. contribute an article at a prestigious technical journal

    My wife’s achievable dream is for us to celebrate our 10th anniv by getting married again at a golf resort with our daughter as flower girl and with 50 of our closest friends and family as guests. It will be two years from now 🙂

    BTW, thanks for acknowledging my posts 🙂

  11. Noypetes – yes, too much of day dreaming is injurious to your brain hahaha 🙂

    Yep, when I was a kid I was completely bonkers about Santa and the north pole and wanted so badly to see it 🙂

    Good for you that you are preparing for retirement. A small farm is an excellent way to keep yourself busy and at the same time have some income.

  12. Jeff – you bet bro…My instructor was right – it is an amazing job ! I’d be a security guard at a rock concert anytime for free. That will be my volunteer job but I’d still keep my day job LOL 🙂

  13. I am one who is not a big dreamer. I guess I just don’t want to get disappointed. But then, this is coming from someone who has experienced so many disappointments early on in life. And when I hear someone say what do you wish for, my first reaction is be careful what you wish for. And I am with you on your last line, I think that if you want to achieve something, you better move your butt and do something.

  14. i remember this quote that says — build a dream and the dream will build you. our dreams is a good motivation in life. dba? and nothing wrong with big dreams either, as the old adage goes — it’s better to shoot for the stars and miss, than to shoot for nothing, and hit it. dream big, then work hard on it. eventually we’ll get there, dba?

  15. oh well…I’m like the queen of dreaming hehe I dream before I go to sleep…keeps my nightmares from happening hehe

  16. good post! i don’t mind you referring to the book. you turned it out quiet nicely with this post.

    it’s all very true. sometimes, we say stop dreaming perhaps because there’s more air in our dreams than working to get off that air in our dreams.

    as we mature, we become realistic. we know what is and what is not achievable. what is good is when we work towards achieving that dream.

  17. Niceheart – I think we can dream about anything no matter how silly but the danger is when we THINK we could get there when we really can’t. There is also the danger of self-pity when we think we
    have under achieved, giving ourself a failing grade. This can be a downside of dreaming because not all of us are in the same mental state ( harsh word to use but I am at a loss of words). I like to dream
    for the sake of dreaming and I only get serious when it becomes quite achievable 🙂

  18. Nell – definitely dreams are a good motivation in life. When we got out of college with nary an asset to brag about save our clothes, our dreams at that time were big and ridiculous but we slowly inched in to achieve something. You are right in that we build our dreams and our dreams will shape our lives 🙂

  19. Verns – at your age you can dream about anything you want in life. Life changing events can also affect or influence or even change our dreams. I figure you probably engage more in day dreaming than night dreaming hehe 🙂

  20. Ipanema – thanks. The author had really made a good point though because I think the reason why some people aren’t happy is because they can’t dream anymore. I think dreams no matter how unrealistic gives us a bit of hope or inspiration in life. As we mature, our dreams change for sure. When I was younger I dreamt about being an invisible man who could enter the bedroom of any girl, celebrities included LOL 🙂 Nowadays my dreams could be licked by a single event – winning the $20 Lotto jackpot tax free hehe 🙂

  21. I’m also an avid dreamer, dreaming of impossible dreams most of the time. There’s only two impossible dreams that I wish upon a star hoping that they will come true hahaha. Silly dreamer I am. :lol :

  22. i love to dream and i love to dream something that is impossible.. coz there’s nothing wrong in dreaming and it’s only with dreams that you can pretend going to the moon and stuff. hehehe.

    but re the achievable dreams.. it’s not only procrastination that hinders you in achieving your dream, but also fear. fear of not being able to succeed. umm… limiting ata yun. hehehe ;p

  23. “Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp or what’s a heaven for?”

    – Robert Browning (?)

  24. Irrealis – that’s precisely what this rule is about – dream on ! I hope your impossible wishes will come true 🙂

  25. Tin-tin

    I’ve gone many times to the moon and the stars too 🙂

    Very good point there coming from a young lady, that sometimes we are hestitant to fulfill our dreams because we fear of failure. That is absolutely true – it happens to all of us but some of us are a little more adventurous than others, willing to take the risk in order to have success. Those of us who are willing to take risks to achieve their dreams must also be prepared to face failure.

    I wish you all the best – hope you achieve your dreams, even the impossible ones 🙂

  26. Abaniko – that’s a great quotation bro. It could also mean that heaven is but a dreamland .. hehe 🙂

  27. There’s no law against dreaming and it doesn’t cost.

    We have this book series which we produce in he office: “Dreamers, Doers, Risktakers” (now on its 4th volume). It assumes that the doers, in this case the business entrepreneurs, began their sucessful ventures with an idea or a dream. Then they took steps, tooks risks, persisted.

  28. Annamanila – you bet, there’s no limits in dreaming 🙂

    Great to hear about that book 🙂 Most successful business leaders are visionaries who took great risks in achieving their dreams. Some sold out and made huge fortunes, only to come back to build and pursue other dreams !

  29. bw! Thanks a lot for this post. I LOVE it. It resonates well with some of the ideas I wrote in my related post. Perhaps what I referred to as pursuing my “big dreams” means “unlimiting” my dream “potential” as well? 🙂

    But, I’m more for the achievable dreams than impossible dreams. If I were to enumerate the top three, hmmm…well let’s see:

    1. Do research at a prestigious university or institute outside of Japan
    2. Publish in Science or Nature (hmm, just like your dream #3!)
    3. Take my family traveling all over the world!

    Now, it’s now a question of HOW LONG it would take to fulfill those dreams…hahah.

  30. Kathy – thanks. Your post inspired me to write this believe me 😎

    A realistic and logical thinker like you would tend to dwell more on achievable dreams for sure ! Well, my prediction is your 3 achievable dreams are definitely within your reach. You probably already did a bit of each of them in my opinion 😛

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