Truth About Cars

 

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The only two reasons why I visit car websites are to check out the car I am interested in or simply to get information on what the experts have to say about the hype surrounding newly released models. One website that provides such information and leaves a grin on my face, no pun intended, is truthaboutcars.com, a unique car review website that  not only educates its readers with expert reviews but amuses them as well with the use of funny metaphors and figures of speech to accentuate certain points and arguments which in effect lightens up the entire reading experience 😎

Its review of the 2005 Subaru B9 Tribeca SUV didn’t fare well with the Subaru folks when the reviewer used the female anatomy in his effort to emphasize the apparent “ugliness” of the Tribeca’s frontal view 😛

Not to belabor the point, but who in their right mind would put a vagina on the nose of an SUV, and then accentuate the effect with wings and hood strakes AND make the shape stand proud of the grill?

The Ford Focus 2007 wasn’t spared either, when the reviewer resorted to personification to underscore the Focus’ rather bland and inelegant appearance 😆

Encountering the Focus for the first time is like discovering that a short, fat, balding Elvis imitator has a less attractive twin.

The guillotine was finally lowered in the poor Chrysler Sebring 2006, declared a complete misfit, relegated to the car rental depot and a product that tugged Chrysler into a suicide watch 😯

Improbably enough, the ride is even worse. With the Sebring’s short wheelbase and lousy suspension, bumps aren’t just felt, but profoundly understood. A choppy stretch of pavement can induce sensory hallucination; I swear a tiny man with a jackhammer was attacking my kidneys.

And finally, who would have the audacity to do a review of Santa’s Sleigh ? :mrgreen:

Slide into the driver’s seat and take hold of the reigns. The seating position is high and visibility unsurpassed. The naturally aspirated 16-nostril power plant producing an impressive 8cp (caribou power) comes to life with a buck, snort and lurch.

I likewise love the forum that goes with every review, where readers’ comments are equally hilarious 😉 Man, I wish we can have more of these radical websites that not only educate but entertain people as well !

WHERE ARE THEY NOW ?

Seldom can you find a group that sings on stage just like you hear them on the record and such is the case with Manhattan Transfer, a jazz/pop group par excellence that spiced up the airwaves in the mid-70’s up to the 80’s. The song on the captioned video, SHAKER SONG is actually a hit record by a jazz group called SPYRO GYRA and Manhattan Transfer put words into the instrumental music and made it even better ! From a pure singing proficiency, harmony and versatility standpoint, Manhattan Transfer is cream of the crop in my opinion. Their harmony is impeccable, their ability to sing as a legit pop group is superb and they can practically sing anything  with such amazing versatility. They’re probably in their late fifties now doing small gigs here and there and I hope they visit this side of town so I can get a glimpse of their awesome talent 🙂

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26 Responses

  1. That site about cars is really hilarious bro. Makes for an easy and entertaining reading even for a non car enthusiast. 😀

    Weird, just last week I was thinking of writing about Manhattan Transfer, which happens to be my all-time fave jazz vocal group, and the song I was going to post was the “Shaker Song”. 😀

    Theirs was one of the few concerts I’ve watched in my entire life, and I agree, they sound very much the same on stage as they do on cd. Sadly though, this song didn’t quite make it to the top of the charts unlike their “Twilight Zone”.

  2. Oh and btw, their songs are also on my list of favorite road trip music, along with America and Jim Croce. 😀

  3. Oh and also they’re still going strong after all these years, if you wanna see where they are these days, check this out:

  4. Actually the Tribeca debut was an ugly version, although the crossover was an exceptional car, that was why the newest 2008 updated version is designed like most of the mainstream models, simple and straightline with rather tamer look..I had one of their earlier l982 and it was stiff and rough earlier Subaru sedan, but it was a good car.

  5. i love the caribou power! 🙂

    Oh, Manhattan Transfer and Spyro Gyra I looove them! I wish they’d perform again.

    i can’t view the video. it says it’s no longer available. perhaps it’s my connection.

  6. Luv the Santa Sleigh review hahaha ! Funny 🙂

    I heard the songs but never really knew Manhattan Transfer. Generation gap maybe hehe. Luv Smile Again. Cool band. I’ll download their songs soon 🙂

  7. “The critic’s symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else’s dung, otherwise he could not hatch it”
    -Mark Twain-

  8. Sngl – I do enjoy reading the reviews man. They’re hilarious . The recent review of the Dodge Caliber – ” transforming the Caliber into a desirable piece of sporting kit seems about as likely as landing Michael Jackson a job as a mall Santa ” LOL ..keeps with the holiday spirit 🙂

    Funny that you though of posting the Shaker Song ! LOL.. it shows we belong to the same generation hehe 🙂

  9. Vic – the Tribeca has been harshly criticized for it’s “ugliness”. I guess you can say Subarus cars are ugly, esp the boxy Forester but man these all-wheel drive cars are powerful for their size and very sturdy and reliable and that’s what counts !

  10. Ipanema – I haven’t watched Manhattan Transfer in concert tsk tsk.. but I know they’re doing small gigs in the U.S. cities. I better watch them before they retire and stop performing !

    The video is still there – perhaps it’s your internet connection.

  11. Irrealis – the Santa Sleigh review was quite creative , wass’t it ? 🙂 LOL on the generation gap hehe. You were probably still in your mother’s womb when they started playing 🙂

  12. Sidney – hehehe … that’s a pretty clever quote 😉

  13. they’re still performing? great to read that!

    usually at midnight my connection is better. perhaps there are fewer addicts here in the forest. i’ll return later. 🙂

  14. Ipanema – yes, they are still performing in select venues. I might try to drive down to the closest city to watch them 😦

  15. For me, cars are only useful in bringing me from point A to point B comfortably. When I buy a car, I choose the one that fits the company’s budget for my position. Just like that. But the reviews in the site are witty, huh? I don’t see the vagina in the 2005 Subaru B9 Tribeca though. 🙂

  16. I must tell my husband about the dodge caliber review, I’d like to see his reaction ha ha ha!

    OMG! bw, I could kiss you, man! Thanks soooo much for this MT’s video! I was about 11 or 12 yrs. old when I start to worship these guys! OMG! I soooo love their “Smile Again!” and later on in my singing career 😛 Bleh! I swear I cried for 2 nights when my pianist told me: “study Shaker Song, pondo mo yan, I’m giving you 3 days!” I was shaking in fear because, like how the hell am I to sing such song?! (may mga notes kasi akong hindi nahi-hit eh) but it went fine..in fact was given the 2nd number Twilight Zone too, ha ha! maybe because I so love MT, naging inspired to sing their numbers.
    have you seen MT’s “Embraceable You”? Higpit talaga ng bosesan!
    Thanks again, you made my day! 🙂
    o ha, nagkwento na..kasalanan mo eh! *lol*

  17. Abaniko – in this part of the world where there’s sooo much real estate, you would have to really decide what kind of car you want to drive depending on your lifestye 😎 The reviews are in my book very entertaining with but were you expecting a real one with the B9 Tribeca ? hahaha 😆

  18. Thess – I could tell you this car review site is quite wacky 🙂

    Woow, for someone to sing Shaker Song at a performance ala Janice Sigel is very impressive. Saludo ako sa iyo sis. I always thought you were at a different league when I saw your video singing Embraceable You 🙂 I also love the Shaker song and could never ever sing it so I might just play it on the sax , ala Spyro Gyra 😉 . I was a clarinet player when I was in my high school band and we played not only marches but symphonies as well. I figure I can still move my fingers hehe 🙂 I’ve been setting my sights on a saxophone and they’re a bit pricey here 😎

    MT is definitely a class act. Smile Again gives me a lot of memories 🙂 Their video of Embraceable You which the group also sang at Janis Siegel’s wedding is absolutely awesome but I chose to link Blue Champagne in my post only because of the video quality 😉

  19. Well, it’d be impossible to sing it like the original but as long as the singing is from the heart, it’ll do 😉

    whoa! you play the sax? Go get one! please, I’d love to hear you play…naku pinaghahalukay mo ako ng mga quality jazz/pop ngayon..btw, do you know “Sweet Baby” (Stanley Clark/George Duke) baka may makita kang video, please? Earl Klugh too (abusado ano? ha ha) 😀

    re: dodge review ..inisnab ng asawa ko ha ha ha!

  20. Hahaha… You found the Simon Cowell of car reviews! Brutal! I love it. 😀

    I am not much of a car enthusiast. My brother and my brother in law are though… They can carry on hour long conversations about mileage and consumption and other mambo jambo alien to me. hehe… I can tell makes from the logos but I can’t tell one model from another. They all look the same. My brother can tell a car model by the tail lights. Before he gave me a 101 on car styles, I always thought they used the same tail lights on all cars. 😛

    Loved the santa sleigh review. heheh.. Very timely. 😀

  21. Not much of a car enthusiast, but I guess it can be said the same with cameras, although I’m not buying the latest models, I just like to wow myself and read the technical details.

  22. Thess – I’m quite sure whatever you sing is pleasing to the ears 🙂

    I had been struggling with the clarinet or the sax decision for a while now but it will be the sax I think 🙂 I started playing in our high school band when i was grade 6 and for the life of me, I didn’t know why our band instructor who was a mucisian made me play the clarinet – maybe it was the more difficult instrument to play other than the bass thrombone where you just did a boring poot pooot backgrounder hehe 🙂 One thing though, the clarinet and the sax are cousins so I have to learn to feel the sax a bit but because I can read notes I think it will be easy. Sure, I’ll give you a tip when I see those jazz videos you’re looking for. I like Earl Klugh too 🙂

    Your hubby hasn’t probably seen or driven the Dodge Caliber taht’s why hehe 🙂

  23. Alternati – I have a ball with this darn website I tell you 😆 I get a laugh not only with the reviews but with the forum comments as well. Here’s what one of the readers had to say about the Toyota Corolla review :

    “Corollas are designed for people who don’t like cars, but have to put up with the indignity of owning one. In the end, they get a sanitized vehicle that’s inoffensive, requires no more maintenance than a pet rock, and will be the only thing to survive a nuclear holocaust along with cockroaches. There’s a lot of people on this planet that are like that.”

    Readers are quite imaginative too , don’t you think ? hahaha :mrgreen:

  24. Fredz – you bet man. I read these reviews just to get a feel of the hype that goes along with the overrated ads. I love camera reviews too although I am not in the market for one but having seen a buddy’s new Canon EOS 40D last weekend at a party, wooo, I was for a moment thrown into that impulse craving mode , which I approriately abandoned once the effects of beer had died down hehe 🙂 Darn, that camera weighed a ton I swear no wonder why he can shoot straight with it hahaha 😆

  25. the reviews are funny! at least everyone could relate to the description even those who are not that knowledgeable about cars 🙂

  26. Tin-tin

    Yes, these folks have made car reviews easily appreciated for those who are not very knowledgeable, who might be browsing around for a car and not feel threatened by the technical aspect. I love the readers comments too… I waste tooo much time reading them at the office hehe 🙂

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