Dangerous Liaisons

0129-0709-0507-2925_tn.jpgI heard on the radio the other day that female spiders are more attracted to male spiders that pretend to play dead than the ambulant ones. Now this is rather perplexing. How the hell would a female desire a wimp more than an active male? A new definition of โ€œdead sexyโ€ I suppose? ๐Ÿ™‚ I did a bit of reading on spiders and found that female spiders are much physically bigger than their male partners. Moreover, female spiders have a shocking habit of devouring their male partners after mating ๐Ÿ˜ฎ As the article says about the male spider – “For his pains, he has a fifty-fifty chance of being consumed straight after consummation”. Translated, it means – “boy, you were just so good with sex and… you’re so delicious, munch..munch” ๐Ÿ˜› This is what I can call the absolute smorgasbord. ๐Ÿ™‚ Ouch, if reincarnation is true, for heaven’s sake, donโ€™t reincarnate me as a male spider.

So it follows that a hasty retreat is imperative after sexual tryst. What would the male spider be thinking as he copulates with the female? โ€œMan this is so exciting ! I might die after this but dammit I’ll take my chances โ€œ :mrgreen: An inert male better have a good decoy, like offering one of his legs for the female to devour as he prods on to safety as it often happens, believe it or not. โ€œDarn, I lost one of my legs for sex, but that’s fine, I got 7 more leftโ€ ๐Ÿ˜† The male spider has better survival chances having sex with virgin spiders than the more surreptitious and vampirish web mistresses. Man, this has to be the riskiest if not the sickest way to get sex on this planet ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

That figures why female spiders prefer wimp looking males – so they could eat them with less resistance. Ugh. Now that’s totally incomprehensible. Maybe I should stop trying to understand things that don’t make sense. There so many other seemingly inexplicable events and things in this world that you feel are worthless and needless yet we are made to believe that there is a reason for them to exist. Do you ever feel this sometimes ? A rule in my favorite rule book says ” You’ll Never Understand Everything”. I give up on this one ..duh. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

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BORN TO SING

This year’s American Idol season is full of good singers, definitely way better than last year’s. One contestant that I think has a real good shot in making it to the finals is this young man named David Archuleta. Not that I am a fan of John Lennon but to select a philosophical song such as Imagine , consistent with the show’s 70’s theme, and perform it with such amazing vocal interpretation, skipping verses as necessary was just superb. John Lennon’s Imagine much like George Harrison’s All Things Must Pass are “spiritual” songs that must never be sung in singing contests and risk sounding like chanting a sermon ๐Ÿ™‚ Yet this guy sang it with emotion, effortless grace and a powerful message that I thought he sounded better than Lennon ๐Ÿ˜ It is no surprise he ended up scoring high in the judge’s books. It is still ways to go but this young man has the potential to win this thing as long as he sticks to being true to himself ๐Ÿ™‚

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37 Responses

  1. what interesting facts and commentary…lol. continue praying that you will not be reincarnated as a spider! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love that song. Perhaps, one of their best!

  2. Haha.. your research and reflections on spider sex are hilarious! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love David Archuleta. I’m also rooting for him. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. OMG…I’m laughing my ass off here Big Bro…you are so funny. Now I don’t know if I still like Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web hahaha

    Anyway re AI…yeah David Archuleta is good. I dont know though if I want him to win (as if my opinion matters) but he’s like a good boy. I don’t know, I don’t really dig “good boys” hahaha

    There are a lot of rumors going around actually about the contestants. I saw a video of Danny Norriega speaking in tongue. Nah, actually he was mouthing some offensive words. He got a pierced lip and very think eye-liners on that video. Obviously an old one but I like him because he’s interesting and funny. Also, Yahoo published an article today about Danny Hernandez being gay and that he worked in a strip club before. Oh well, based on the pictures,looks like he was a stripper indeed. And then there was also a website that says Robbie’s long hair is a wig hehe no wonder Simon kept on saying he’s a fake hehe

  4. oopppsss…I meant David Hernandez…not Danny.

    Darn! I bet my comment went to your spam folder Big Bro.

  5. “This is what I can call the absolute smorgasbord”. hahaha.. That’s so funny ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. I’ve been watching this season’s AI since day one of the main performances. Randy Jackson said that he never heard “Imagine” sung that way before, and so far, it’s the best rendition. Woohoo! I like David Archuleta too! He’s cute,lovable. and huggable. Imagine if I had a son like him… ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Interesting bit of info on spiders. It’s a mark of a female spider’s intelligence that she goes for the “kill” at a moment when the male spider is at his most “vulnerable”. Hahaha

    As for David Archuleta, from the way you described his performance, the guy is an original. I take my hat off to people who try to give a different and better rendering of another person’s song. This guy’s one of them.

  8. Female spiders appear to be the deciding partner for when copulation stops (being 50 times larger will do that). Andrade found that female spiders began eating their mate at the beginning of sex and continued chewing on him throughout. This snacking distraction allowed the sex to last more than twice as long as with non-suicidal males (25 minutes if youโ€™re curious). Since longer sex results in fathering higher proportions of the offspring, this longer sex should result in sacrificial males fathering approximately two times as many children. In addition, virgin females who ate their mate were less likely to accept a second suitor.

    I know humans who do crazy things for a bit of sex… and what wouldn’t they do to have longer sex… isn’t that all worth to be eaten alive by your lover?

  9. Ipanema – yes, I’ll be praying that if I ever get reincarnated as a spider, I’d be a female haha ๐Ÿ™‚

    Being a Lennon fan, I have to agree with you. David A. made the song better ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Toe – I did hear the radio talk about the female spider getting more attracted to a male playing dead while I was dropping a friend at her house and we both said it sounded crazy hehe ๐Ÿ™‚ David A. is just a natural ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Verns – i’m sure you’d have second thoughts on befriending Charlotte now hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

    About Danny Noriega, the comment Simon Cowell directed to him – ” can you answer without moving your head?” was self-explanatory I would think LOL ๐Ÿ™‚ He is the extreme version of Sanjaya – last year’s controversial contestant who lasted long enough to draw the ire of viewers, not because of his talent but for his weirdness. But you know what, he does sing better than Sanjaya ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Irrealis – total satisfaction indeed :mrgreen:

  13. Rhodora – you’re talking like a real mom ๐Ÿ™‚ I saw your son’s pics on your blog – he’s handsome naman a – mana sa iyo hehe ๐Ÿ™‚ You’re like my wife who says she wants her daughter’s boyfriend to look like David Archuleta LOl ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Panaderos – what a way to eat your prey – offer him sex first LOL ๐Ÿ™‚

    I think David A. enhanced and did justice to an already beautiful song from a legend like John Lennon ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Sidney – that’s great piece of additional info ๐Ÿ™‚ Interesting concept of “suicidal males” who are willing to die for sex ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

  16. That’s why we often use the the term “Black Widow” on women who marry and dispose of their partner after getting the moolahs… ๐Ÿ˜€

    I agree that this year’s AI contestants are the best because there seem to be no “odd” contestants in the group, if you know what I mean…

  17. Oops, where did my comment go? Man, it got spammed again! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  18. yep! Defitely better than Sanjaya. Danny also auditioned last year but the look he projected back then was Gothic. I believe that was a big factor why the judges did not like him. He cleaned up pretty good now and he’s not boring unlike Luke (the Orlando Bloom look-alike)

  19. Snglguy – Black Widow – what an appropos name for murderous gold diggers hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

    BTW, I took your posts as well as Verns from the spam folder. Dunno why this happened ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I also see strange things happening on my template, like my side bar characters all of a sudden changed ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  20. Verns – Danny’s cool but just a tad too soft and wavy – do you know what I mean hehe ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope he does well.

    Now that Luke Menard with a mouse sounding voice won’t last long methinks ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. Why don’t male spiders mate with female ants instead? I heard female ants don’t eat spiders. ๐Ÿ˜€

  22. Abaniko – inter-specie sex is rather creepy hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

    They say snails are hermaprodites ( can be male or female). There is a theory that says species with low population and threatened with extinction has more hermaprodites while those with over population has more homosexuals ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t know if this has any scientific proof though ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

  23. can’t view video…no longer available daw. i bet it’s a good rendition. ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. Ipanema – they took it out but I put another one ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. Funny about those male spiders. I heard that on the radio and cant help but laugh. Imagine if a human male plays dead? I dont think that’s attractive at all. lol

    I’ve been watching AI too and I’m rooting for the Pinoys ofcourse. I’m hoping they get through to top 10 at least. This Archuleta guy has been on this contest business before too in the Star Search way back when, he must have been 8 or 10 yrs old then. He is really good.

  26. hehehe! this is a funny creepy article! but if female spiders always eat their mate after sex, could there be enough male spiders still alive to mate with? would it also mean the first & last sex for female? puh!

  27. Leah – you heard that on radio too ? My friend and I laughed when we heard it ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’m rooting for the Pinay girl too. Well, my guesses for the guys proved correct – Luke and Danny were booted out. I had the feeling the did quite poorly with their performances ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

  28. Curacha – welcome back ! Boy I thought you gave up on blogging entirely. It’s been a long time ๐Ÿ™‚

    There a 50-50 chance for a male to get eaten so I guess there will be lots of them left haha ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. โ€œDarn, I lost one of my legs for sex, but thatโ€™s fine, I got 7 more left…โ€

    that sounds so much like a guy… =)

  30. Jeff – you mean guys can give their body parts for sex hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. this is a geeky spidey post. ๐Ÿ™‚ do all female spider species consume their mates after sex?

  32. Mari – yes they do ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m really not too sure if males , esp first timers know it but heck if the male survives the first sexual encounter, he’d be extremely wary the next time ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. this is fun – to spend time thinking why female spiders eat wimp male spiders. i will go find something like this to think about and when i am successful i will post about it, too.

    true, there are many, many questions that is left unanswered or is better left unanswered. ๐Ÿ™‚

  34. I know about the spider sex ritual. Isn’t it just disgusting? Thank God you’re not a spider, BW. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    *****

    I’m not into that Idol Idol thing, but I agree with you: that guy is good. Having said that, I still prefer John Lennon’s version.

  35. Bingskee – you bet. There are many things in this world that will remain a mystery and some better left unanswered ๐Ÿ™‚

  36. Jayred – yes, I should be thankful I’m not a male spider hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

    This kid happened to get an emotional connection with his rendition of a great Lennon song that had been adored by not only the “sandal wearers” but ordinary folks like myself. I liked the way this kid skipped the verses and get right into the message of the song. For a moment it sounded like a brand new song ๐Ÿ™‚

  37. […] re-grow in a matter of time. WTF ? Freaking awesome isn’t it ? Other than the male spider who willfully offers a leg so he could escape from being devoured by a cannibalistic and much bigger female spider immediately after copulation , this would be the […]

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