Sales Talk

Selling_popcornIf you’ve ever been to these resorts that sell timeshare ownership you’d probably know what I will be talking about. I’ve never seen people so pushy and pretentious trying so hard to get you in debt believe me. They try their darnest best to work on your ego first to get you trapped like ” wow, you have really lovely shoes – where did you buy them ?” (sales agent referring to my wife’s Nine West pair). “Can I try them on ? ” As if it wasn’t enough, she calls her supervisor and the darn scenario almost turned into a fitting session at a shoe store. It didn’t end there. I knew my turn was coming πŸ˜‰ As expected, at some point Miss Piggy pulled her antic on me. “ That’s a really nice looking watch. The numbers are so clear. I’d like my husband to have one like that.” In truth, I don’t expect a woman to fall in love with my Swiss Army watch in a rugged dirty look iron casing, black face with olive canvas strap. But then that was probably the only item in my person she couldΒ bestow a compliment on πŸ˜‰ It would have been worse if she said “ nice haircut. I’d like my husband to have one like that! ” Now that would have been a contrived ass licking comment which could send your customer packing wouldn’t it ? πŸ™‚

Speaking of haircuts.. I normally have my monthly haircut ritual at a barber shop close to my neighborhood but one day, when I was at an Asian mall, I noticed this interesting hair salon run by an eldery Chinese man. All of his haircutters were female and he seemed to have a clientle of men who preferred to get their hair done by him only. Hmmm. I thought perhaps I should try him out. He charges half the price of what I pay and in this time of recession, saving a few bucks is not a bad idea at all. Look now, I wouldn’t compromise my head to look like a scorched patch of grass just to save 8 bucks mind you. The man looked like he could cut hair πŸ˜‰

The moment I sat down, I realized how loquacious the man was, almost making me feel that he could finish the job much earlier if he just stopped talking. So he starts off with the usual scratching-your-back comments like ” oh, I like to cut your hair. You guys have nice wavy hair you’ve inherited from the Spaniards unlike the normal Asian hair that sticks out like rice stalks πŸ˜‰ Man, I chuckled. This guy is either a real suck up or so misinformed like the controversial Hongkong news writer Chip Tao ( remember him? ) who released hisΒ official apology to the Pinoy nation in Spanish. Wake up boys. We are now in the 21st century ! Then he says, ” youΒ Pinoys speak English well – no wonder why you get the better paying jobs“. Hmmm. Well, being conversant with English can become a liability too.Β  Pardon the cynicism but unknowingly, knowledge of English had made Pinas the number one exporter of servants abroad 😦

The man could not stop talking. The topics can jump in and out of jobs, politics, life in Hongkong – its high standard of living and cramped real estate, the free health care and pathetic winter in Canada, the succulent Philippine mangoes. I was trying to figure out what the man really wanted to say when at the end he paused and asked me the question. “What can I buy with 1 dollar in Hongkong ? Nothing. Hey, with my dollar here at least I can buy a couple of Philippine mangoes for 50 cents each, even if they are expired for a few days but that’s OK with me :mrgreen:

He combed my hair, tidied me up and said “there – you look even more handsome now. Sorry for talking too much. Hope you come again”. I most certainly will πŸ™‚



images3I’m being dragged back to my previous post about Hayden Kho’s leaked sex videos and the still unanswered and unresolved question of WHODUNNIT? I’d be very cynical once more but methinks someone with a real ax to grind with the gigolo must have done it. What could be more compelling than a serious fit of jealousy from some woman who would like to see his reputation destroyed, along with the women he had amorous relationships with? Find out if that jealous woman exists, do a bit more passionate, unimpeded sleuthing and you have won half the battle. Sometimes you need not worry too much about the intricacies of actions. Certain actions don’t stray too far from its logical blueprint.

JEALOUSY by Frankie Miller

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30 Responses

  1. Sometimes I have problems of saying no especially if the sales person is really nice. I am even worse if a friend is selling.

    That old man is funny haha. He’s an old fashioned salesman.

    Yuck, I couldn’t kill anyone because of jealousy. I’ll just go away and forget it. Nice song but I won’t sing it πŸ™‚

    • I agree it is much harder if a friend or acquaintance is selling to you but in the end, it is your own welfare you need to worry about 😐

      Jealousy has wrought havoc to mankind. Wars were waged just because of jealousy. I guess it is just part of our frailty as humans that we have to deal with and not overpowered by it 😯

  2. The wavy hair is from the Spaniards? I didn’t know that. hehe. I had a Chinese photographer for my high school senior pictures and he couldn’t stop talking either. I don’t remember any of what he said though. πŸ˜‰

    I got sucked in to one of those timeshares. He really knew how to sell it. Now I gotta pay for it … unless someone wants to buy it off me. hehe

    • That’s what the man says for his being a barber which has some grain of truth in it.. Pure Asians have very stiff, straight hair πŸ™‚

      You said it. I own timeshare too but don’t regret it except for the yearly update meeting where they try to goad me to upgrade πŸ˜†

  3. On giving compliments, I am starting to become ‘orocan’ (i.e. plastic, showbiz) here. Most of the ladies are fond of complimenting each other about physical looks. But at least twice, my honesty was tested. Since I can’t find anything striking about her that day, I exclaimed she has a nice hair. Then, I realized her hair looks horrible. My bad.

  4. I got one just last week in my Kablog station site. His sales pitch consists of dangling future β€œhouse and lot” and β€œbrand new car”. I cut him when I said I already got those and that kind of business is not for me.

    β€œOfficial apology in Spanish”. I guffawed on this one. Boy, Chip Tsao is really ignorant. He thinks we’re still under Spanish influence.

    Suspect? How about the doctor whose former gf has a relationship behind his back with his β€œmacho dancer” best friend? Ano ba to! I sound like Boy Abunda!

    • Good you cut him right there and then. I do this all the time with telemarketers 😑

      Don’t know what Chip Tao was thinking. He was practically light years away from reality. I get a lot of telemarketing calls on my phone. The conversations starts like this. ” buenas noches – do you speak Spanish? ” πŸ™‚ Turned out they are telemarketers servicng the Latino market and having a Hispanic last name, they thought I was latino too πŸ™‚

      Sinabi mo … we are all versions of Boy Abunda doing our own analysis hehe πŸ™‚

  5. 50 cents for expired mangoes? I thought you can have them for free before they throw them away hehe πŸ™‚

    Looks like the resolution for this sex video scandal is nowhere in sight.

    • I wouldn’t wait for the stage that they’re being thrown away hehe.. But know what, at an apple orchard once, the owner told me that he gets buyers for apples that fall on the ground. I guess they are being used to make apple sauce and even apple pies πŸ™‚

      Know what, powerful people in 3rd wolrd countries such as this guy’s 53 year old live in cougar is practically untouchable. I’ll not be surprised if this case just dies a natural death and no one will be prosecuted.

  6. On a recent trip to Vegas we were stopped by someone selling timeshares. We thought we would not be approached because we always look poor anyway, but I guess he was desperate for a sale. I told him we were there on a honeymoon and wouldn’t want to sit in a room for an hour to listen to someone who wants to rave about why a timeshare in Vegas is a good deal, we had better things to do πŸ™‚ He said he understood. Otherwise I never really had problems with salespeople.

    Now for those who do cold calling, or house calling like from various religious denominations I will share this. There is a group of Filipinos knocking on doors and trying to recruit fellow Pinoys to join the church. They come every few weeks, mostly Saturdays.

    One time the doorbell rang and I asked my husband to answer it and if it is the group of Pinoys he can deal with them. Once he opened the door I heard a lady say, I thought Pinoys live here. My husband said, I’m not a Pinoy. They left without even saying their spiel.

    • so many people here were conned by these timeshare ads. They invite you saying you won a trip to Florida only to find out that you have been entered in a draw. They give your some snacks and hold you for an hour selling their stuff. 😦

      These door to door folks are pretty aggresive but can be irritating. I guess I shouldn’t say that coz I bought my first Kirby vaccuum cleaner, when I was just new to the country, from a door-to-door Kirby salesman πŸ™‚

  7. Before we got the call monitor on our cable TV, I used to get rudely interrupted on my meals or during BB games on TV by solicitors. On one call, I purposely let out a loud belch while this guy was soliciting donations for the “police fund” over the phone and I just said “oh excuse me I just finished my dinner and am right now relaxing on my couch watching a lesbian sexploit on cable TV, pardon me, what did you just say?”….I just heard his mumbling and a loud click and then total silence!

    At a grocery store parking lot, this one persistent sales person followed me to my bike trying to sell me a subscription for a men’s magazine. I gave him my impression of a moral preacher complete with a litany of bible verses and called him a smut vendor. He had this total confusion look on his face and can’t make anything of the situation why a biker dude wearing a tattered denim jacket, dirty jeans would preach morality to him. He walked away and just raised his hands up in the air.

    If you mix jealousy and crab mentality, you can expect the outcome to be poison to all who feasts on the blend!

    • β€œoh excuse me I just finished my dinner and am right now relaxing on my couch watching a lesbian sexploit on cable TV, pardon me, what did you just say?”….

      hehehe.. I think I may have to do that too πŸ™‚ I get a lot of these calls and all I say is I am having dinner and they caught me at a bad time πŸ˜‰

      I haven’t registered my phone to the no-call list because frankly, I have gotten some good deals from these telemarketers too πŸ™‚

  8. Nice barber you got there. But sometimes, if they bget too chatty, like one of the barbers I know here, they can just be a bit annoying. I like it when they cut my hair at the swiftest time possible.

    • Agree – too much talk can be a real nuisance, esp if the barber sucks at story telling. My old barber was an Italian guy and boy did I get some real update on the status of soccer in Europe hehe πŸ˜† The guy was a total fanatic. He paid 800 bucks to watch Italy play when the world cup was held in the U.S πŸ™‚

  9. i heard of this as some of my friends got into it but they were not convinced. upon asking them how it works, i too was not convinced.

    • there are several versions of timeshare and you got to find the good one where you can maximize your benefits. Yep, one needs to get educated on it before commiting !

  10. Go to a car lot and try to buy a Tundra, I guarantee you the salesman will tell you “I drive one just like that or his wife or daughter or son also drives one”. What a coincidence? These carsales people annoys me!

    Jealousy???? There goes “Till death do us part”, hehe…..

    • you bet… car salesmen are notorious sweet talkers ! I remember one salesman who kept on offering me a “limited” edition of a certain model and you know me, I always sleep one night on a plan before I commit. Then I found out on the news paper that night the “regular” model was going for no downpayment and zero interest deal ! He didn’t tell me about it !

  11. haha.i was really smiling while reading this entry.

    this brought back memories when I went to SM Megamall when suddenly, a sales agent from Family First-turned-Berkely Intl-turned-whatever approached me in order to give me free umbrella or movie pass in return for my ‘time’ to attend their seminar.

    before you know it, they’d be selling insurance to you.dang.

    • Insurance agents are also notorious. I remember a Pinoy guy I knew told me he became a financial planner so I invited him over. It turned out he was just an insurance peddler ! Talk about embellishing his qualifications πŸ˜‰

  12. I usually don’t let any salesperson start on me because I am so gullible! However, I do admire people who sell well because I was never good at that. In fact, the two sales jobs I’d had before, I quit even before reaching two months because I couldn’t close a sale

    • I can understand. Some people have the skills. I’d be a poor salesman myself coz I get easily irritated by kakulitan πŸ™‚ My wife is good in sales, problem is she hates the stress. In her job today she demoted herself just to get out of selling 😦

  13. I’ve been in marketing half of my 48 years in this world, and I can say that selling is a very tough job. Not only do you have to think of a novel way to win a customer over, there is also the pressure to sell… and sell more. That’s why I can understand why some salespeople inadvertently make a nuisance of themselves to others — their very livelihood depend on their being persistent, to the point of being annoying.

    Psst… wanna buy a timeshare? Hahaha πŸ˜€

    • That’s very true and I admire your for sticking with sales for half of your life hehe πŸ™‚ As for the old man who owns the barber shop, I don’t consider him a nuisance because at the end of the day, he seems to take care of his customers well, if not trying his best to provide good service, not like those who are just full of bs. You know what I mean πŸ˜‰

      Time share? I already own one …ugh.. but no regrets though coz we got a good one and use it a lot πŸ˜‰

  14. Someone called me and invited me to the awarding of a 2-day-stay-at-a-Cebu-hotel gift. I became cynical but they won’t give me the info I wanted. They’d always say they’re confidential and that I had to wait for the formal briefing during the awarding ceremony. And when I talked to my cousin, she said she received the same call and it’s about time shares. So I never went to the said “awarding” anymore. πŸ™‚

    • We had gone for a 2 nights / 3 day “test” stay at a couple of timeshare companies and paid a real ridiculous rate for the entire stay provided we attend the presentation. Man, they really push hard with their sales pitch like you won’t believe πŸ™‚

      Hey, nice to hear from you again ! That was a pretty long rest. Hope you’ve been recharged πŸ˜‰

  15. I had a very short stint (like a week) of inviting people to attend those time-share selling presentations.

    I didn’t expect it to be as “makulit” as those pyramiding sales presentations.

    • As I mentioned in my reply to Abaniko, they push when they think they gave you a favor, say staying at their 5 star resort for $99 for 3 days/2 nights with freebies, say a free golf game or free meals. This is the true sales strategy – give you the experience, not the walk ins who have no idea what they’re selling. Even for those who are already owners with them, they push hard for you to upgrade your membership. They pick on your pocket annually 😯

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