The Mouth of Babes

images_kidsMy parents told me that I started walking at 10 months and was talking sense at one year. My relatives accredit my woody woodpecker skills to my dad feeding me vagina meat of a roasted pig the moment I started ingesting solid food πŸ˜† When I was 2 years old, I went up the stage to claim a prize from Santa. Holding the microphone, Santa asked me to say my name, but I looked at him and said ” why do you have cotton on your face ?” πŸ™‚ We find children cute because of their pristine innocence that evokes purity – in a sense, something that is amiss in our nature as beastly adults teeming with carnality. Children don’t play mind games and tell things at face value. An officemate told me a joke about a man who while having sex with his wife in the middle of the night woke up his little guy. The tot shouted ” Daddy are we playing horsey-horsey now” ? πŸ˜†

a356We have to be a little careful with what we say when children are within earshot distance. They could become instant moles for all you know, sabotaging your secret plans without your knowledge. I remember a time back in Pinas when we were at the kitchen having snacks and the family was talking quietly about the suitor of my cousin – more on his cons than pros. πŸ™‚ Incidentally the guy was visiting at the time, and chatting with my cousin at the living room. For some unknown reason, my little niece bolted to the living room and told the guy “ hey, they said ( pointing at us) you’re ugly“. πŸ™‚ Ouch. She ratted us to the max ! Totally embarrassing, like farting in an elevator full of people. One time when a nosy neighbor came to fetch my little girl to play with her daughter at their house, she nonchalantly asked my wife “ hey, your daughter says you’re buying a new car ?” Huh? We wish. We were checking out the showroom for the newer models. Maybe she heard my wife saying – I want this, I like that. Talk about kids having the tendency to embellish things.

Every week I bond with my little girl when my wife works half-day on Saturdays. Last Saturday we were having lunch at her favorite junk food place, and as I was sipping my coffee, she quietly told me, with her eyes gleaming ” the other night Mommy told me the reasons why she married you“. Huh ? I nearly pulled a Chiquito stunt (sipping coffee, news breaks, mouth spurts coffee all over the place). :mrgreen:

TN_cryingBabes can be irritating, stressful and a pain in the you know what but little do we know that what they will become depends on how they see us as parents and guardians. They teach us to know and better ourselves. Unbeknownst to us, we wield tremendous power to mold, uplift or destroy a a child’s life.

“I’ve come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.” …… Dr. Haim Ginott

DINOSAURS – Royal Ontario Museum

( I invite you to view the full screen. Click on View All Images, Original View and Full Screen )

DINING DISASTER

I bet all of us at some point dread the thought of that absolute dining disaster – dropping your tray and spilling all the food on the floor. Well, last Sunday, at a self-serve family restaurant, we saw it happen to a couple and their two young kids. As I was queuing up to pay our orders, the little girl pushing the small cart carrying the food trays tripped, causing the cart to tumble, spilling everything on the floor. They barely reached the dining tables when it happened. The little girl cried but the parents consoled her from the embarassment, telling her she did nothing terribly wrong and that they will buy the food again. A cleaner quickly came to the rescue, cleaning the floor with the mess. My oh my I said. What a bummer. They have to fall in line and spend the money again. After more than 5 minutes we were done with the cashier and took our trays to the dining area and lo and behold, we saw family already eating ! We didn’t see them queue up again. I guess the restaurant told them to sit down, replenished the food, served them at their table. Good for them. What a commendable gesture from the restaurant. It kinda made my day too πŸ™‚

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33 Responses

  1. I remember that Chiquito way, I saw from the old movies. I thought you were going to tell us what your daughter told you about the reasons your wife is married to you. Heehee.

    I have this cousin who was fed a pig’s tail naman to improve his speech. =)

    • I was more surprised than anything and I wanted to laugh hence the near eruption haha πŸ™‚ The reasons were quite OK hehe πŸ˜‰ I think my wife and my daughter watched a princess -marrying-a- prince DVD together so it might have led to their conversation 😎

  2. remember kids cant keep secrets. my niece related this incident to me. her family went to reno and was paying for buffet when the cashier asked how old the kids were in the “big” group – and the mother replied, he’s four and the other one is 2. anyone under 6 i believe is free. usually the cashier would take that answer and run up the total. but she called the little boy and asked how old he was. little boy replied i’m 7 but my g’ma said i’m 4 when someone asks me at the buffet.

    yikes!

    needless to say they have to pay for his food. you know how pinoys look younger than they actually are.

    • that’s so hilarious πŸ™‚ I remember a friend who told his daughter to reduce her age when asked so she can get a big discount at the theme park. So at the entrance, she asked ” what’s my number again Daddy?” lol. Good that the attendant didn’t quite understand what number she was referring to hehe πŸ˜†

  3. i remember this ad some years back saying “sa mata ng bata ang ginagawa ng matatanda ay tama”. we must act responsibly in front of kids so as not to give them the wrong impression that everything we do is ok.

    • true but our culture also supresses children, not giving them credibility because they’re kids. I say in some cases it borders into disrespect. The APO song Batang Bata is one case that elucidates our general opinion of children.

  4. OMG! πŸ™‚ Your little niece telling the suitor that you said he’s pangit! That is so preciously funny! πŸ™‚

    • hehe.. it was ourageous.. but the guy took it like a man. The conversation at the kitchen also talked about his missing toe hahaha.. but we didn’t verify it because he was wearing shoes πŸ™‚

  5. A kid cousin once (innocently) asked his mother’s flat-chested girlfriend, “bakit wala kang dede katulad ni mommy?”

  6. This is so funny hahaha.. Remember that kids have imaginary friends so they can be crazy on you anytime πŸ™‚

  7. I love vagina meat!!

    …When my wife wondered aloud about the plants near the neighbors fence being a lot greener and healthy looking, my 6 year old boy (then) said, “Dad hangs out there and spends a lot of time watering that part of the garden in the afternoon watching and talking to our neighbor(hot cougar) when she’s doing her laps on the pool”…

  8. IMO, kids teach us the virtue of patience πŸ™‚

    Nice dinosaur set. If that disaster happened in the fast food mall, I doubt if they would get a frebbie for the food they spilled. The restaurant was generous.

    • True indeed. I know of people who don’t want to have kids because they feel they do not have the patience to deal with them.

      I guess so. Lucky for them it happened inside a restaurant that was generous.

  9. daryl said that it is us adults that feed everything to the little ones – what is funny or sad, what is scary, what is abominable, what is beautiful or ugly, etc etc

    i remember little kay when she accidentally spilled her food on her lap because of kalikutan. we shared with another the table and he witnessed how Papsie scolded little kay. the man took pity and gave kay the plastic container with lots of stick-os in it. i saw na napahiya si Papsie that time. children can teach us lessons in life.

    • Dads are stricter than moms and usually have less patience. My daughter tells me that. She says I’m mean just like her friends’ dads 😯

      I’m a pretty easy going guy and love to be with kids but I also value discipline. I am also one of those who do not believe in giving the child everything he/she wants.

  10. So, why did your wife marry you? πŸ™‚ I was left hanging there for a while.

    I love talking with kids. They are so innocent and truthful. I do enjoy the absence of malice.

    That was one customer-friendly restaurant!

    • You mean why she asked me to marry her ? hahaha πŸ™‚ Joke only. The reasons would be obvious as they should be – don’t your think πŸ˜‰ I still smile to myself when I recall my daughter telling me that line πŸ™‚ I hope she remembers them when she marries the man of her life. I’d like her to have the same reasons as her mom too 😎

      I love kids too. They’re a joy to the household. Not too many of them though πŸ˜† At least many enough that you can take care of them .

      Customer friendly indeed. Lucky it wasn’t an upscale one where the items cost and arm an a leg πŸ™‚

  11. Following are but two actual questions to kids ages 7 thru 10 or from the mouth of babes:

    WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

    Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
    — Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

    -On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
    — Martin, age 10

    HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

    Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck . — Ricky, age 10

    ————————————————————————–

    I’ll take kids anytime than a pet parrot. Kids can be shut down, but not these freaking critters, hehe.

    • LOL on those kids comments.

      ’ll take kids anytime than a pet parrot. Kids can be shut down, but not these freaking critters, hehe.”

      Hey, you’ve forgotten the wifey haha πŸ™‚

  12. You really like it if your cast as a prince, don’t you? Isn’t that’s what every girls dream? : D

    Besides her tantrums, so far, my 4yr old haven’t embarassed us in front of other people. At least not yet.

    • Yep, I was a frog before my wife married me hehe πŸ™‚

      I saw your 4 year’s video in your blog – she’s such a bundle of fun πŸ™‚ Hey you’re right – not yet but it will come πŸ˜†

  13. parang majority of dads have a horsey-horsey experience to tell of their kids LOL kids can have their moments but are monsters on the rest LOL

    • It’s also a horsey-horsey story for moms to tell believe me hahaha πŸ™‚ That’s the problem with us Pinoys – kasiping natin si bunso natin hanggang lumaki, kaya hindi mo maiwasan ang disgrasya πŸ˜†

  14. “my dad feeding me vagina meat of a roasted pig the moment I started ingesting solid food..”

    hindi ko alam kung sa ating pinoy lang ung mahilig gumawa ng pamahiin mula sa kwan ng mga hayop… = )

    for example pwet ng manok daw ay pampadaldal
    at ung -toot- ng cow/kalabaw eh pampa elya =)

    • I think part of our culture yan much like the other Asian countries where animal body parts are thought to provide power to humans, I believe in China, eating a portion of the much sought and pricey tiger penis meat gives man incredible staying power in bed πŸ™‚

  15. hi, thanks. added u already here in my blogroll http://marian-moviereviews.blogspot.com

  16. That embarrassing incident with your cousin’s suitor happened to me once, when my ex and I were still dating. Her nosey niece told me that the entire family thinks that, compared to my ex’s ex-bf, I’m one ugly SOB. Not just once, but twice if I recall, ha ha ha… ouch! πŸ˜€

    • In the end, it didn’t matter coz you snatched the princess haha πŸ™‚

      We were actually talking about the suitor of my cousin who reportedly had lost one of his toes in a freak accident LOL.. but we could not ascertain because he was wearing shoes all the time. Someone said ang pangit ng putol… and our little niece ran and broke the story with her own version πŸ˜†

  17. […] post is from here. Visit the link to read more.At times my mind revolves like a water wheel, seemingly straight and […]

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